Friday 5/22

Today started slowly.  It took me a while to get out of bed.  I even scared Colin a little because he couldn't reach me.

I showed the house to three people today.  Two of them seemed pretty promising.  Colin was home to help me which was nice.

Around 2:00, I was laying on the couch and felt something warm....of course my ostomy bag was leaking AGAIN.  Ridiculous!  I'm going to have to make an appointment with an ostomy nurse to talk about it.  It's getting out of control.  I had to clean myself up and change my bag which then triggered a mini meltdown.  I'm feeling over it ALL today.  I think everything is starting to add up.  I have the stress of knowing the doctors met yesterday and they know what the plan is for my transplant.  I have the stress of not being able control my ostomy.  The stress of moving.  The stress of trying to figure out finances when I'm no longer working.   The stress of renting the house.  The stress of not being able to do what I want to do.  The stress of constantly getting sick.  The stress of blacking out.  It's all adding up.

I got up after my cry fest to go upstairs and get what I need for my iv.  I made it up three steps and everything started to go black.  I had just enough time to lay on the stairs and yell for Colin to help me.  He got me up and back to the couch.  He went and got the stuff I needed.  I started cry fest number two for the day.  My mom called in the middle of it so I asked her to come get me.  I think I've been cooped up in the house too much this week.  She came and got me and we talked for a little bit.  I ended up going over to Amber's and sitting on the swing.  The boys were playing in the yard.  

At one point Caden walked over with a devilish grin on his face.   He said "Aunt Heather, close your eyes." I listened and opened up my hand.  He dropped something in my hand that was slimy and wet.  I opened my eyes to a handful of worms!  He's such a little stinker.  He knows I hate touching worms.   Yes- I love to fish but I never put the worm on my hook.  I always make Colin do it for me.  

After that we went inside and I watched them play Mario kart on the wii.  Then I had amber bring me home.  I'm exhausted, in pain and really dizzy this evening.  I'm just going to take my medicine, hook up my iv and hopefully get some sleep.  So...I pray tonight will be good to me and tomorrow will be a better day.  Until tomorrow.